There has been a lot of "stuff" going on over the past few months. Top of the list is spiritual growth...the Lord has been showing me so much about myself, my heart...He is preparing me for something great, I just know it. :) Then there are health issues with my mom, a miracle baby born into the family at 24 weeks Josie Hope Hall, my small group "breaking up", a couple of visits with my sweet niece and nephew, 17 days off of school with Ryan during the holidays, a New Year trip to TN,working to mend a broke relationship, terrible 3's on the horizon with Ryan and of course there is school.....
School is going really good! So far I have maintained all A's!!! I am getting my "ducks" in a row to apply to the PTA program by the June 1st deadline. I am so excited about what is to come....but find myself anxious as the application deadline approaches. When I start thinking about all I will have on my plate assuming I am accepted...mainly the cost of living has me a little freaked out. I am so ready to be in Athens full time, and to have my own place again - being at moms has been a huge blessing financially for me...but I am ready to go :) Ryan is in a great preschool program here in Covington that is very inexpensive compared to others....so childcare in Athens is a bit daunting when I think about it. I am praying daily that the old Passat will live until I am finished with school...because a car payment is out of the question.....so yes, I am excited....and when my mind starts to take me into the future to start "working out the plan" I start to feel overwhelmed and anxious and start wondering what the heck am I doing?!?!?!?
Matthew 14: 28-31
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come" he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on water and came toward Jesus. But then he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
When I begin to feel anxious, I can't help but see myself like Peter when Jesus called him out onto the water. I know I am following the Lord by being in school! So when my flesh starts to run away with the anxious thoughts of how....I have to remind myself to stay the course, keep my eyes locked on Jesus and He will work all things together for my good. I need not worry about the details of the months coming...He already has those details worked out and will be sure I am well equipped to handle those days.
Over the past few months while I have been very busy with life in general....I have also been very close to the Lord. I am so thankful for my relationship with Jesus - He is most important in my life. I don't even want to consider where I would be without Him. So while I have not had anything profound to share on this blog or really the spare time to type the words, the Lord has been doing deep work on my heart - He has revealed things to me and continues to show me His way. So yep.....I am out on the water....just like Peter, only I will not be afraid I am keeping my eyes on Jesus!