January 28th....wow, this month FLEW by!
I have struggled a little over the past few weeks.....it all started when a friend from long ago was taken home to heaven just after the first of the year. I suddenly found myself full of fear - and I mean the kind of fear that makes you break down in tears, can't sleep kind of fear. All I could think about was that something could happen to me, leaving Ryan to this world without me here to protect and teach her, or worse yet something could happen to her.....and to be honest the thought of that makes my eyes well up with tears as I write this. I recognized that the fear was not from God.....and I knew in my head that it was the devil after me...but I was fearful ALL the time. So I prayed....when I realized that was not enough, I called Mel....asked her to pray for me, then emailed some fellow SHINE girls asking for their prayers too.....and you know what it helped - A LOT!
I was taught something very personal from my heavenly Father this month and I know that I am being called to obey - which is a weird thing for me to say because for me obey was always a dirty word, but it best describes where I am at this moment. I find myself leaning harder into the Lord, I am praying more, and I find myself trusting Him more than ever before. ......you know how when you first fall in love you are excited, shouting from the roof tops??? Then you come to a place....where all the layers have been peeled back, and you are vulnerable and maybe a little scared all the while completely fulfilled?? Have you ever heard people talk about falling in love with Jesus??? I have always heard people say that...and I had NO idea what in the heck they were talking about....until now, because friends I can tell you that I have completely fallen in love with Jesus!!!!
Now for an update on the New Years Resolutions......
1) I have submitted all the paperwork....immunization records, financial info, etc., etc. to school and now await my official acceptance into college - I am really really really looking forward to starting school - even though it appears I will be taking CHEMISTRY my first semester back to school over the short SUMMER semester - there is no way to get around it :( and trust me I plead my "case" :) Summer 2012 I start school!
2) SHINE has been a HUGE blessing to me - I am in awe of how God works and what this bible study has done for me and my walk, but also what it is doing for so many that I hold close in my heart! For the first time in my life, I am reading the bible...enjoying it, understanding it.....I seriously can't believe the difference it makes in my day. I found myself some mornings reading that days chapter aloud to Ryan at breakfast (my way of multitasking while running late) but have now decided that reading the daily chapter aloud to her will be part of our 'routine" - I want nothing more than to share God's story, love, and wisdom with Ryan - I pray daily that I will be equipped to lead her into a strong, loving relationship with her heavenly Father....and a fellow Shine girl encouraged me thru her post to start by sharing His word NOW even though she is not yet 2 years old! And you know what, without recognizing it Ryan was letting me know she wanted to hear His word - when she sees me reading my bible she would say "Mommy read Bible?" and would run to her room to get her bible to read too - I thought this was awesome, but not until my fellow shine girl's post did I recognize it for what it was - If you have not already signed up for SHINE - the link is http://www.shinegirlsshine.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=5 - I feel certain it will bless you everyday just as it has me and so many others I know and love!
3) I am going on week 5 training up to run my 1/2 marathon in November - the game plan is to train up to a 5K, then a 10K , and then the 1/2. This way I am training up to a goal, accomplishing the goal, and moving forward to the next. :) Looking for a 5K in February....maybe in the Athens area???
4) Lareen's Peeps is registered online and we started our walk training this morning. We have a goal of 15 team members to raise a minimum of $15,000 for the cure. Currently we have 6 ladies committed to walking with us - and I am confident we will find 9 more to meet our goal. We are planning to train together every Saturday for the early months leading to the actual walk, and as we get closer to the walk more often. We will also have a "big" event to raise money once a month. This morning we walked 4 miles in a hour :)
5) I looked into the high school ministry at my church - unfortunately it was not a good fit at the moment. My church is in Athens...an hour from my home which makes it hard to volunteer and be effective. Once I make the move to Athens...I will give it another look. BUT I am honored to serve at the True Identity Retreat in April this year. True Identity was a LIFE CHANGING experience for me last year- and I am so excited to give back to such a great ministry for women. If you are looking for ladies retreat that will change your life, I encourage you to check out TI - the link is http://www.trueidentityministries.org/True_Identity/True_Identity_Ministries.html
Until next time - Much love!!